This is Me

 This is Me

Okay so here is something that has been on my heart a lot lately. I know that God has placed it there and now I just needed to get it out to everyone out there. You were made for a purpose! No matter who you are ,where you are, what you’ve done (sorry I totally got into that Backstreet Boys song there, for those that don’t know these are the lyrics to one of their songs lol) Anyway, Every single human being was put on the Earth for a purpose! God made you the way you are FOR A REASON! If you are going about your day thinking God made a mistake when he made you, well guess what! God doesn’t make mistakes! Why would he start with you!?! I have seen all of these things saying You are enough all over the place because we have had many suicides happening, but I don’t say you are enough! I say you are MORE than enough! The devil likes to steal, kill, and destroy and when he brings these thoughts into human minds he is very sneaky. He’s so sneaky that he disguises it as something else and makes it look “okay”. Guess what! You are human! You will have these thoughts go through your brain! Yout will think negative thoughts and thats okay! Its not okay to let it consume your every waking moment of your day. If you are a Christian, you have the authority to speak to those thoughts and say, “Devil! No, you can NOT have my mind! You can NOT consume me in depression! You can NOT dwell where I know you are not allowed!” 

I started this whole document with the phrase “This is Me”. When I was getting ready this morning, this kept popping up in my head over and over. This is the title to a song from the movie “The Greatest Showman”, it is sung by the cast of “misfits” that PT Barnum had together for the circus. This title, to me, speaks volumes about how they were the lowest according to society's standards, but they were not going to let it get them down. This is something that resonates with me. Yes, we are all flawed in some way shape or form, but GOD! God created you for a purpose, the way you are, flaws and everything! Look at me! I’m not perfect at all! I mean I have many things that are flaws, but guess what! God has been able to work through me no matter what! I haven’t done super bad things in my life, but I have seen the hand of God on my life that was placed there because someone else made that really bad choice and paid for it, but God still took them out of that and they have been set free! There are many people that have made the super bad mistakes and have been set free. In fact, I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for some of these people. So the next time you think that you are not good enough and the world may be better off without you, I encourage you to stop and think, I have been created for MORE! I am MORE than enough! God does not make junk and he would not start with me! I am worth it! He paid the ultimate price for me because he thought I was worth it! I honestly think that this shift in my thinking over the years has helped me out. I encourage every one of you out there that if you have my info, contact me and I will pray and agree with you. You are not alone! You have allies! You have a God who loves you so much that he sent his only son as a sacrifice for you! You are MORE than enough!

2016 to 2017 a look back

So in the year 2016 there have been many things going on globally as well as locally. We lost many stars from my childhood in the 80s and early 90s as some people in my personal life experiencing grief. Many things like the fight with ISIS,  terrorists attacks, and just so many horrible things for the human race. But looking back in 2016, I would like to reflect of things that were sort of firsts for me. I got my first tatoo and I did my first Whole30. These two events in my life are significant because of what they mean to me as a person. Yea I know there are many views on tatoos and some people do not like them. My reason for getting one has been 4 years in the making. 5 years ago, I lost a dear friend of mine to suicide. This opened my eyes to the world of mental disorder more so because this event hit close to home. A year after her death, I was trying to figure out the best way to honor her memory and thats when I decided on a tatoo. The tatoo is symbolic to me because it is a dragonfly and dragonflies are a symbol of hope. They were also one of my friends favorite things. So there is the back story for that. The other thing of signifigance for me is the Whole 30. This is a 30 day body reset that I participated in in June. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to di because I was not allowed on this to have many of my favorite things for 30 days. Think of it as Paleo diet on steriods. This was significant to me because I learned what foods were coming in and the effects they had on me. It has helped me to eat better even now I am more aware and try to be healthy when I can. So much good has come out of this year even though there has been so much hardship as well. Though it all, God is teaching me and guiding me in every step and I am so excited to see what 2017 has in store. Whatever it may be, no matter if it's good or bad, I want to make the choice to have a good perspective and not let the little things get me. I guess for this year, this is a goal of mine! Happy 2027 everyone, choose to be happy even if your day or year sucks! It's a choice how you handle it!

When you feel like someone is taking advantage of you

So I have always been a person who loves to serve others. I am pretty involved in multiple ministries in church and I always try to help others whenever it is possible. So, me being a "yes man", I feel like there is always an oppritunity to take advantage of my kindness. For me, it is really hard to say no when it comes to serving. I really love it, but when you really want to say no, this can be a bug problem. I usually try not to complain about these things, but latley, I have taken more notice of this. How do you get to this point and be strong about it? I thought I had this figured out in me, I'm almost 37 years old, you would think that after things I've done before, I would figure it out. This just tends to happen to me. I think I need to go back and figure out how to nip this in the bud before it causes a bigger problem for me. This postis mostly a rant from me as I am a little miffed at something and needed to get it out. If anyone does have a suggestion for me, let me know. Maybe I'm not as confident as I thoughtor something like that! Thoughts?

It starts with food

So here I am at the end of my Whole 30 journey and so many things are rolling in my mind. I feel more entergetic, I sleep better, I'm able to focus better, and I've lost 10 pounds over the course of 30 days. So, now here I am reflecting on what caused me to take this challenge as well as how food literally has taken over my life.
I start with the beginning. I have been feeling this pull to change my eating habits for a while. I was like, "oh my gosh, I need to eat better!" I would say this every time I was eating chocolate, or fast food, or just junk in particular. I alwayd thought I was doing it in moderation and it wasn't a problem. I still felt like I needed to do something. So one day, I was looking at Facebook and one of my friends had finished their Whole 30 and talking about how well it made her feel. I was curious and I took the bite. I clicked on the link to the Whole 30 website. This is where I started reading what this was all about.
Whole 30 is a body reset to help you be aware of how food affects you. You eat nothing but whole foods for 30 days. No added sugar, sweetner, no legumes, no grains, and no dairy. You also can not make anything resembling any baked goods not allowed in Whole 30. This means, no Paleo pancakes or muffins. My first thought was, " well I have to do something!" I pondered on it and then committed to starting June 1st to start it (because I figured it was easier for me to remember how many days I was on in a month with 30 days). For a little under a month I was busy mentally preparing myself for this. I tried my coffee black and with coconut milk in it. I researched labels and looked at ingredient lists. And told everyone I was doing this. Then June 1st hit and I was rolling. First 2 weeks sucked, I'm not going to lie, after a while I got used to it and found some cool recipes that turned out amazing. At the end, like yesterday, I was so looking forward to having bread again.
It hasn't been easy, but it was a process. I have learned some things about myself.
1. I truly have had a relationship with food, mostly junk food.
2. I have discovered Whole 30 ketchup and it is so much better tasting.
3. I can have the will power to resist things if I choose.
4. Vegetables actually taste better to me now.
5. There are so many yummy recipes that totally fit Whole 30 (look at Pinterest or the many blogs devoted to Whole 30)!
For now I've been able to put my sugar dragon, as they termed it, under. I have to say being fiid conscious for 30 days has made me more aware of how I treat my body. This is God's temple, you only have one, you have to treat it right!

If you are interested in what Whole 30 is and entails in more detail, here is the website:
http://www.whole30.com

It could be worse!

Today I had an event happen in my life that made me take a step back. I had an issue with money where something had been paid and it got disconnected and then I wasnt able to resolve it because the office was closed. Wow, talk about frustration, seriously! Of course your first reaction is to scream and allow it to get to you. It's okay to do this in a place where you are not going to have someone react back (which is what happened to me!) Then the important thing here is that you take a step back, you regroup yourself, pick yourself up and think, "it could be much worse!" I could be starving somewhere not knowing where my next meal is coming from,  but I'm not. My problem is not as big of a deal as it appears.
The important thing here is, when I take a step back and think about the good in my life, I think, "wow this isn't so bad!" This helps me to regroup myself and get over something that really shouldnt have been a big deal in the first place. God has blessed me and has put me in a country that is truly blessed despite our problems. I was born for such a time as this. I have a purpose. Thinking about all of this gets me away from that little thing that frustrated me in the first place! Sure my problem is going to take some disipline in my life to help sort it out, but in the end, it will be okay no matter what!

Being offended

When something happens that makes you feel offended and angry it is hard  to overcome this feeling. Especially when someone directs some things onto you that affects you personally. This happened to  me recently and it sucked big time because I  became frustrated, angry and cried my eyes out over the situation. It wasnt the content but the way the thing was treated that made me feel this  way. But one thing I did noticed is that there was some perpective in me going through the tears and frustration that are different then I would have handled it before. In the midst of the tears I  asked Jesus to help me not be angry, to help me change how I felt. Not how the other person was, but me! Thats the only person that I can take care of, myself! Only can I make the change  in myself, or ask God to help me in this. I'm  human,  but with Him I can change! So I  guess that the messege of this post, for me at least is, stop  blaming others and continue to strive to fix yourself with God's  help, you will have the strength to do so. Bitterness is a nasty thing. It will eat you alive and affect your health.

Reflections for a new year

Over the past few months, I've gone through a phase when it comes to makeup where I have said, "screw it!" When it come to wearing it. I think it started with me making a little bit of a viw to not wear any for a few weeks as a "sabatical" for my face. Part of it was that I was starting to feel like makeup was becoming a crutch in my life and that I needed it. This is something that I dont want to happen. Dont get me wrong, makeup is amazing and really can add to a polished look! It can make you feel good and it can make for amazing results.  Im not putting down the use of it at all.
So here I have been, going makeup free most of the time. I have had the same misgivings about doing so, thinking, "what about the days when I look tired" or what about work!" Lots of thoughts came to my mind about this. But alas I have done this! And I've learned a lot about myself!
I've learned that I am still beautiful, I am still me. I've learned how to accept my face for what it is. I've also noticed less acne, which is huge for me! I am thinking that this eye opener has helped me out incredibly with self image and who I am in God. So to start my new year out, this is who I am!